If KISS (Kings In Satan’s Service) Frontman Gene Simmons Can Finally Marry Shannon Tweed on Saturday After 25 Years of Shacking Up, Surely, My Dear Christian Brother, Stedman Graham, Who Gave God So Much Wonderful Praise at Oprah’s Grand Finale, Can Propose to Oprah Publicly and Marry Her Publicly, and Set a Good Example for All People Who Look Up to Them.
Why my Southern Baptist brother, Stedman Graham, ought to make Oprah an honest woman and marry the princess of all media.
Stedman Graham, is the baddest playa-dawg of all time. Stedman Graham reminds me of the great-looking high school playa who had all the women wanting to be with him because he was light-skinned, had “good hair”, etc., and make no mistake about it, he played those women too, but he also had the most popular and smartest girl on a string and would not let her go so somebody else could have her because he knew how valuable she was – if for nothing else, to do his school work for him. As a grown man, this is exactly what Stedman Graham has been doing to our girl, the princess of all media, Oprah Winfrey.
Well, I am going to play John the Baptist to my Baptist brother, Stedman Graham, and say to him what John the Baptist said to Herod in the Bible: “It is not lawful for thee” to shack-up with the princess of all media and her two dogs. Two dogs, son, is enough. You make three. Three is a crowd. Yes, that is right, I am telling Stedman Graham, to make the princess of all media an honest woman by making her his queen, and marrying her. And if he is not willing to marry her, he needs to move his behind and his stuff out of her house. Son, you have been on this gravy train too long. Marry her or get out!
And by the way, nobody believes those lies Oprah is telling that she doesn’t want to get married to Stedman Graham. Stedman, you and I both know if you took Oprah to a nice restaurant, dropped down to one knee with a big shiny ring, after she got up from the floor because of fainting, she would burst out with tears of joy and say, “Yes, Yes, Yes, What took you so long?”
You are a Southern Baptist Christian and you know what you are doing is wrong. They taught you well in the church while you were growing up and at Hardin-Simmons University, a Christian-Southern Baptist university, which you graduated from.
Both of you are getting on up in age now. You need to stop acting like high school children, grow up, get married, and set the right example for the young people that you both claim to be so concerned about. All of your speeches to young people and all of the money you give to their causes is not going to help them change if you are not setting the right example by living what you are saying.
Go ahead, Stedman, show some class and do the right thing. “Put a ring on it.”