How Extroverts Can Thrive with Their Introverted Spouses

I am an extrovert. What does that mean? It means that I get my energy by feeding off other people’s energy. I write novels for a living. Unlike many other authors, I do my best writing amid a group of people. At a coffee shop, my kid’s karate practice, it doesn’t really matter. I just love the energy people exude. I don’t need to talk to them to be a part of them, and it makes writing so much easier.

Contrast this with my introverted husband. He gets his energy and inspiration from solitude. He has no problem interacting with people and being outgoing, but it leaves him drained and needing time away from humanity. When he writes, he sequesters himself in his office, and even if I poke my head in to ask if he wants supper, it is enough to distract him and set him back in his progress.

So, imagine us on a Friday evening. The conversation often goes like this:

Me: “Honey, Jack and Jill invited us to go out for dinner and dessert.”

Him: “Why?”

Me: “Ummm, so we can hang out?”

Him: “I can hang out here at home.”

Me: “But then it’s just with me and no one else.”

Him: “Exactly.”

Let’s face it; if you’re an extrovert married to an introvert, you’ve had this conversation too. So how do you thrive when you feel like getting your introverted spouse to socialize involves coercion and bribery?

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SOURCE: Crosswalk, Jaime Jo Wright