Welcome to Surviving and Thriving in The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family podcast. This is episode #13. My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society International. I am married to my first and only wife, the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica, for over 32 years, and God has blessed our marriage with seven children. The simple purpose of this podcast is to help husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children understand that true Christian marriage and family life in most cases will be a Rough Love Road experience. The Christian marriage and family is designed to break you, make you, and mold you to be what you need to be for the glory of God. And contrary to lying, hypocritical and phony Christian leaders and people today who fake like that is not the case or compromise to try to make it not the case, thus violating God’s Holy Word, the Bible, and contrary to most Christian authors today on the family, to have a victorious Christian marriage and family it is not about cute techniques, manipulation and compromise, it is about simple obedience to the Bible especially in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6, working from a position of Godly authority with the husband (male) being the head of every marriage and family under God and Jesus Christ, and the wife (female) being in submission to her husband whether she likes it or not, and with the children being in obedience to their parents whether they like it or not. So marriage and family will be a Rough Love Road experience and, yes, it will take “tough love” as well. The only way to have your family to turn out well “in time to come” is by simply being obedient to God’s Holy Word whether you feel like it or not. Which in other words means staying together with your first spouse and not divorcing, which is your biggest sign of success. By the way, I am very sorry, but this podcast is not for divorced people, it is designed for young couples who are determined to stick it out no matter what, it is for couples who may have had some problems in the past but are determined to obey God and stay together no matter how they feel, and it is for people who believe that keeping their vows to God and staying together and not divorcing is a worthy goal and means success in marriage in God’s sight, and for people for whom divorce is simply not an option. Any compromise, any games, any lies will cause your family to be a failure as opposed to being victorious.
Our scripture passage for this episode is Ephesians 5:23-24 which states, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
Now, allow me to share with you more commentary on this passage from David Guzik:
g. To their own husbands in everything: Paul says that the wife should be subject to her husband in everything. Does he really mean everything? This needs to be understood in the same way we understand submission in other spheres. For example, when Paul says in Romans 13 that the Christian must submit to the state, we understand there are exceptions. So, what are the exceptions to everything?
i. When the husband asks or expects the wife to sin, she is free from her obligation to submit. This applies in a place of clearly Biblical sin – such as signing a fraudulent tax return. It also applies in matters of true Christian conscience. But we must be very careful to distinguish between true Christian conscience and mere opinion. Yet the wife does not have to submit to a request to commit sin.
ii. When the husband is medically incapacitated or insane, she is free from her obligation to submit. A wife does not have to submit to the requests a husband makes when he is insane or medically incapacitated.
iii. When the husband is physically abusive and endangers the safety of the wife or children, the wife is free from her obligation to submit. She does not have to submit to his violence.
iv. When the husband breaks the marriage bond by adultery. Obviously, a wife does not have to submit to her husband’s adultery, and just accept it. The Bible says she has the right to “come out from under his rank” in such cases. “If the husband has been guilty of adultery the wife is no longer bound to give him obedience in everything. She can divorce him, she is allowed to do so by the Scripture. She is entitled to do so because adultery breaks the unity, breaks the relationship. They are now separate and no longer one. He has broken the unity, he has gone out of it. So we must not interpret this Scripture as teaching that the wife is irrevocably, inevitably bound to an adulterous husband for the rest of her life. She may choose to be – that is for her to decide. All I am saying is, that this Scripture does not command it.” (Lloyd-Jones)
Our quote for this episode is from Kevin DeYoung. He said, “Sexuality in the context of heterosexual marriage is not only good, but exclusively good. Only heterosexual marriage relationships can show forth the complementary design of men and women. According to the apostle Paul, one of the purposes of marriage is to show forth the mystery of Christ and the church (Eph. 5:32). If marriage can be construed as a man and a man or a woman and a woman, what is left of the glorious mystery of Christ and the church? We are left with only Christ and Christ or church and church.”
In this podcast, we are using the late John R. Rice’s classic book: “The Home—Courtship, Marriage and Children: A Bible Manual of 22 Chapters on the Christian Home.”
We continue with Chapter 1: Marriage and Home (Part 11):
II. Why Should People Marry? (contd.)
Fifth, people ought to marry because they fall in love.
Certainly people should never marry who do not love. It is true that falling in love is not enough reason for marriage. No matter how much you love someone, it would be foolish and wicked and disastrous to marry that one unless certain other requirements were met. All these homes that are broken by divorce—do you think that they were not established on love? I say that love is not enough. We will deal further with that later. Yet, certainly, love is essential to a happy marriage, and when people love as they ought, that is a compelling reason for marriage.
I remember the long four years when I wrote a letter to my sweetheart almost every day, except those few months that we were in school together and when I could see her daily. I never read a book that blessed me but that I wanted her to read it. Usually I sent the book to her with my notations on the margin of the pages. I never ate pleasant fruit but I wanted her to share it. I never smelled sweet flowers but that I wanted her to have their fragrance. Oh, love is a compelling thing. I longed and dreamed for the time to come when we could live together and never be parted anymore. I wanted her in my sight. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to share her joys and help bear her sorrows, this beloved of mine. Love is a compelling reason for marriage, and people ought not to marry unless they love one another. But God sends love, if it be a holy love, and if it be approached according to His will. Love is one reason for marriage.
From these things let us conclude that in ordinary cases God intends men and women to marry and that in most cases marriage is the happiest way of life, provided it be marriage according to God’s will, marriage with His blessing.
— PRAYER —
Now, if you and your family do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, here’s how to.
First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”
Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”