Welcome to Surviving and Thriving in The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family podcast. This is episode #9. My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society International. I am married to my first and only wife, the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica, for over 32 years, and God has blessed our marriage with seven children. The simple purpose of this podcast is to help husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children understand that true Christian marriage and family life in most cases will be a Rough Love Road experience. The Christian marriage and family is designed to break you, make you, and mold you to be what you need to be for the glory of God. And contrary to lying, hypocritical and phony Christian leaders and people today who fake like that is not the case or compromise to try to make it not the case, thus violating God’s Holy Word, the Bible, and contrary to most Christian authors today on the family, to have a victorious Christian marriage and family it is not about cute techniques, manipulation and compromise, it is about simple obedience to the Bible especially in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6, working from a position of Godly authority with the husband (male) being the head of every marriage and family under God and Jesus Christ, and the wife (female) being in submission to her husband whether she likes it or not, and with the children being in obedience to their parents whether they like it or not. So marriage and family will be a Rough Love Road experience and, yes, it will take “tough love” as well. The only way to have your family to turn out well “in time to come” is by simply being obedient to God’s Holy Word whether you feel like it or not. Which in other words means staying together with your first spouse and not divorcing, which is your biggest sign of success. By the way, I am very sorry, but this podcast is not for divorced people, it is designed for young couples who are determined to stick it out no matter what, it is for couples who may have had some problems in the past but are determined to obey God and stay together no matter how they feel, and it is for people who believe that keeping their vows to God and staying together and not divorcing is a worthy goal and means success in marriage in God’s sight, and for people for whom divorce is simply not an option. Any compromise, any games, any lies will cause your family to be a failure as opposed to being victorious.
Our scripture passage for this episode is Ephesians 5:23-24 which states, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
Now, allow me to share with you more commentary on this passage from David Guzik:
2. Reasons for a Christian wife’s submission. (contd)
iv. “What he is saying is that the woman is different, that she is the complement of the man. What he does prohibit is that woman should seek to be manly, that is, that a woman should seek to behave as a man, or that a woman should seek to usurp the place, the position, and the power which have been given to man by God Himself. That is all he is saying. It is not slavery; he is exhorting his readers to realize what God has ordained.” (Lloyd-Jones)
v. “When a woman gets married she gives up her name, she takes the name of her husband. That is Biblical, and also the custom of the whole world. That teaches us the relationship between the husband and the wife. It is not the husband who changes his name, but the wife.” (Lloyd-Jones)
c. As also Christ is head of the church… Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands: Paul presents here a third reason for a Christian wife’s submission to her husband. She should submit because the relationship of the husband and wife is a model of the union between Jesus and the Church.
i. This point is simple and clear. We have a model for the marriage relationship: the relationship between Jesus and the church. In that relationship, the headship of Jesus Christ is unquestioned. So also is the husband the head of the “team” that is the one-flesh relationship of husband and wife.
ii. Perhaps the Christian wife doesn’t want a “head” or a leader of the team between husband and wife. If that is the case, the wife does not understand a Biblical marriage, and will always work against it in one way or another. It is the same dynamic as a Christian saying he doesn’t want Jesus to be his “head.”
Our quote for this episode is from Wayne Mack. He said, “The Lord commands the wife to be submissive. Refusal to submit to the husband is therefore rebellion against God Himself. Submission to the husband is a test of her love for God as well as a test of love for her husband. The wife then must look upon her submission to her husband as an act of obedience to Christ and not merely to her husband. … Submission means that she sees herself as a part of her husband’s team. She is not her husband’s opponent fighting at cross purposes or trying to outdo him. She is not merely an individual going her separate way. She is her husband’s teammate striving for the same goal. She has ideas, opinions, desires, requests, and insights, and she lovingly makes them known. But she knows that in any good team someone has to make the final decisions and plans. She knows that the team members must support the team leader, his plans and decisions, or no progress will be made, and confusion and frustration will result.”
In this podcast, we are using the late John R. Rice’s classic book: “The Home—Courtship, Marriage and Children: A Bible Manual of 22 Chapters on the Christian Home.”
We continue with Chapter 1: Marriage and Home (Part 7):
II. Why Should People Marry?
There are many sensible reasons, reasons embedded in the need and consciousness of the human race, which make marriage desirable and proper, as the usual thing.
First of all, mankind needs fellowship.
Marriage is intended of God to be the answer to a lonely heart and to supply fellowship and comfort and joy. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Do you think that for a man to have his stomach full of food satisfies all the highest and best in man? Do you believe that for a man to have the needs of his body supplied is all that is required? Obviously no. Man needs fellowship. If a woman cooks, she cannot enjoy her cooking unless someone else who loves her eats it. Many women who live alone almost starve themselves because they cannot enjoy cooking and cannot enjoy eating when there is nobody to cook for and nobody to eat with. Fellowship, after all, is more important.
Why should it please a man that he is wise if there is no one to hear his wisdom? Why should it please a man if he is rave when there is no one to protect and no one to praise his courage? And what would it matter to a woman if she could sing beautifully if there were no one who loved her to hear her sing?
The Saviour sent out His disciples two by two. He sent the seventy the same way, two by two. On the great missionary journeys we find that Paul and Barnabas went together; then Paul and Silas. This only illustrates the fact that companionship is an essential, not only for our happiness but for our usefulness. And the Scripture tells us how Jesus said, “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven” (Matt. 18:19). You see, even in prayer one can do better if he has help. God is more likely to hear the prayer of two people than the prayer of one.
When two people walk together, if one stumbles the other can hold him up. If one be discouraged, the other can encourage him. If one be hurt, the other can help him. Two people can sleep together warmer than if one sleeps alone. Two hearts together can be more cheerful and happy than either of them alone. You see, man, or woman, necessarily needs fellowship. At very best there are many of the secrets of the heart, the longings, the aspirations, the memories, the burnings of conscience that one cannot tell anybody. Oh, how each of us needs someone dear and sweet and near, loving and forgiving and understanding and believing, to share with us!
Marriage supplies the need of fellowship. The man who has a true wife who loves him and believes in him can face the world and not be afraid. How many times a noble preacher has preached the Gospel in the face of scorn and disbelief and even abuse and persecution, but has done it boldly and even happily, because he knew there was one nearby who loved and understood and believed in him and his message and held him up in prayer! You see, in the very nature of mankind is written the need for marriage. Marriage is for fellowship and comfort.
In the common language of the people, a wife or a husband is often spoken of as “my companion.” That old English usage of the term really pictures what a husband or a wife is. God intended marriage to furnish a companion for the heart. That is one reason why people need to marry.
— PRAYER —
Now, if you and your family do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, here’s how to.
First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”
Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”