No Time For Husbands and Wives Shuckin’ and Jivin’
Andrea Akron reached over, pulled the ottoman closer to her seat and stretched out both her legs on top. She flexed her toes back and forth to relieve the tension she was experiencing.
“And if you start harping on that submission stuff again, the church will stop growing. No wonder this woman’s church is so small.”
“What’s the name of her church?”
“Regents Baptist Temple. Her name’s Raquel. Raquel Brynsky. She’s a white lady. Pastor Rodriquez Brynsky’s wife up there in Massachusetts. According to her testimony, they only have about fifty members.”
“Oh, yes. I’ve heard of him before. He’s known for his strong stance on the home: men being the leaders, women being in subjection,” Bishop Akron said. “I hope you learned something.”
“And that’s why they only have fifty people,” Andrea said, ignoring her husband’s last statement. “Because they are constantly preaching on home life. Husbands and especially wives are not going to sit for long under that preaching. Why rock the boat when there are so many other more important things to preach on from the Bible like don’t steal, don’t kill, don’t lie, don’t gossip, . . .”
“Don’t disobey your husband,” Bishop Akron interjected. “I ought to invite them here for a special one week meeting on the home,” he added with a chuckle. “Maybe that would help you get your act together. What do you think?”
“You’ll do no such thing,” Andrea said. “You preach on that with as much force as she did, I predict you will lose the support of the women, and guess what? They’ll take their husbands and their children and their money with them.” Looking her husband in the eyes she said with a smirk, “So you be careful what you preach, preacha man.”
“I wish I had a wife like Sadie Malcolm or Raquel Brynsky,” Bishop Akron muttered but loud enough for his wife to hear.
“Say that again because you can have them if you want them,” Andrea said. “Then after they have been with you for a few years . . . no, a few months . . . and they see what you’re about which is close to nothing, they will be talking like I’m talking. Plus, you don’t know what takes place behind closed doors in their home. Now, do you?”
Oh, Cecelia, Cecelia, where art thou? Bishop Akron pined within. “I’m not going to have you talk about those two godly women like that. I believe they are submissive wives by their own husbands’ testimonies. I wish I could testify the same about you.”
“I’ll give my own testimony,” Andrea said.
“Whatever are you teaching the women in your women’s meetings? I sure would like to know,” Bishop Akron said.
“Women’s meeting. Strictly for women as you can tell by the name. So you don’t need to come snooping,” Andrea said brusquely. “This conversation is over with. I knew I should have followed my heart and come in and immediately go take a hot soak in the tub and not even try to share anything with you. You messed up what could have been a good evening as always.”
Andrea got up out of her seat, picked up her stilettos and purse, and headed towards their bedroom. “By the way,” she said looking back, “I offered to host next year’s conference here at All Star United Church. One speaker we sure will not be having is Raquel Brynsky.”
Bishop Akron thought of shouting, ‘Make sure you have Sadie Malcolm as the guest speaker,’ but changed his mind. He remained in his easy chair the next four hours flipping the channels back and forth, nodding on and off, not having a desire to do anything in particular. In truth, he was really just giving his wife time to finish her hot soak, go through her bed-time ritual of scrubbing her face and putting on a cucumber mask, and hopefully be sound asleep before he got in the bedroom.
I might just go out to pay Cecelia a visit, he thought, but changed his mind as Prophet Malcolm’s words came swimming into his head.
When he thought Andrea was asleep, he quietly went to the bedroom and slipped his pajamas on. He sat still on the edge of the bed for about a minute before sliding under the covers. He softly turned on his side with his back toward his wife when she spoke up.
“No need to move so quietly. I’m awake.”
Bishop Akron sighed.
“No need to sigh either. That’s not going to stop me from saying what I have to say. You know I wasn’t finished saying what I had to say to you downstairs.”
Bishop Akron remained silent. He had no desire to continue their conversation knowing it would more than likely end in another argument and he would probably be the one sleeping in the guest room that night.
“I don’t see why any woman would want to stay home and make submission a career. That’s what Raquel Brynsky said. ‘Submission is my career,’ she bragged and with a big smile. Can you imagine that? We got our careers,” his wife continued. “And bless the little hearts of those women who have chosen ‘Stay-at-Home Moms’ as their career. She bragged about how much of a joy it was for her to stay home for seventeen years with her children. And guess what?”
“Wh-a-t now,” Bishop Akron said, yawning.
“She said she thought she was going to go crazy looking at the four walls of her house once her children moved out and on with their own lives, but she was surprised to find she was just as busy as before. Now she could give all her attention to her husband helping him build up his ministry further. And she now had time to begin the active prayer ministry newsletter that she had always wanted to get going but had to put on hold until her children grew up. She bragged about how the internet is being a great help to her as it is helping her to cover what she thought would be lost years in starting her ministry. I must remember to visit her website on tomorrow. What do you think about that?”
I don’t even feel like answering you, Bishop Akron thought of saying.
“Do you know what I believe?” he finally said. “I believe you’re just jealous. Here’s a woman who has chosen to submit herself to her husband and to stay home with her children which I think is very biblical, and you just can’t believe how genuinely happy and full of joy she is. I told you to do those two things, but you chose not to, and if you want my opinion, you are not genuinely happy, neither are you at peace with yourself, nor with me, for that matter. And I don’t believe you are at peace with God. In fact, I know you are not at peace with God. That is why you are so full of angst; can’t seem to sit still; feel like you always have to be out and in front of other people doing something, even in a pandemic when everyone is being advised to stay home.”
“I knew I should not have said anything else to you,” Andrea said. She pulled the covers tighter around her, turned away from her husband, and said, “Don’t bother to say good night which we never do anyway because as I said I don’t feel like arguing and thus making it not a ‘good night’ for you. The guest bedroom is empty right now.”
Fine by me, Bishop Akron said as he turned his thoughts to Cecelia.
“Am I not a considerate wife?” she said sarcastically.