No Time For Husbands and Wives Shuckin’ and Jivin’
“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. ”
(1 Samuel 15:23)
* * * * *
Prophet Malcolm made his way to the kitchen where his wife was preparing a light snack for their last Sunday meal. He gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“And what is that for,” Sadie said, returning his hug and kiss.
“Oh, just for being a good wife and for putting up with me down through the years. It takes a special woman to be married to a prophet,” Prophet Malcolm said. “I know I give you a hard time many times but I want you to know I do love you.”
“I love you, too. It’s been an interesting ride and quite an adventure being married to you, but I would not trade it for anything,” Sadie said. “Give me a few more minutes and I’ll have your soup and sandwich ready to eat. How did your conversation go with Bishop Akron this evening?”
“Very well, as usual. I am concerned about one thing though.”
“The last time you spoke with Andrea, did you pick up that they were having family problems? Did she hint at anything or share anything with you at all?”
“We were talking about marriage, divorce, and remarriage, and I mentioned that because you were such a good wife I would not even think of committing adultery on you. He said, and I quote him: ‘Well, she is one of the exceptions when it comes to bad wives. I might have to have her to talk to my wife.’ I asked him if there was trouble in the camp. He said, and again I quote him: ‘Trouble flares up every now and then, but we’re handling it.’”
“Maybe they are handling it,” Sadie said.
“Mmm. I hope so. I just hope so,” Prophet Malcolm said. “He’s young and still has some pride in him, the kind of pride that lets him lead people to believe that he has things under control when he doesn’t. Little does he know the prophet can see right through people. I have learned down through the years to read between the lines.”
* * * * *
The women’s conference, though limited in attendance due to the ongoing pandemic, was a blast in the eyes of many, but as always, there were a few dissatisfied attendees.
“You know, I could have coordinated the whole thing a lot better with my hands tied behind my back. I would have the lunch catered for one thing,” Andrea said to her husband as she kicked off her red stilettos. “The women who fixed the lunch were so tired they could hardly enjoy the conference. In fact, most, if not all of them just stayed in the kitchen for the entire morning session preparing the food for lunch. A few braved it out to some of the evening sessions. I guess they decided the dirty pots and pans can wait.”
Andrea chuckled as she repeated “’Pots and pans.’ Even the virtuous woman of the Bible had maids. If they had had the food catered they would not have had to worry about pots and pans, and they all could sit and listen to the speakers. I can’t even imagine myself cleaning up behind two hundred women. I would make use of a cleaning service to take care of that. I know they brought in enough money in registration fees to at least pay a cleaning company to do that. Oh, well, that’s their thing.”
“Well, that’s some women’s way of ministering. That’s their gift to the body of Christ,” Bishop Akron said. “Let me remind you that the Bible says, and I paraphrase, don’t be shocked if when you get to Heaven the lowliest of servants will enter through the pearly gates before the highest of persons. Those ladies scrubbing those dirty pots and making sure the attendees have clean sparkling plates to eat out of may just enter into Heaven before the pastor’s wife.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Andrea said, placing her hands akimbo and widening her eyes at her husband.
“You can interpret it however you want to,” Bishop Akron said.
“You know what? I’m too tired to argue with you right now. But as I was saying, there’s a smarter way of doing things. There were almost two hundred ladies in attendance,” Andrea said. “Who would want to wash two hundred dishes even if they split the job?”
She plopped down on the love seat and drew in a long deep breath.
“And do you know what else I’d do differently? I’d get an outline of each speaker’s speech to make sure they stayed with the theme. This one lady spoke at length about wives being obedient and submissive to their husbands as unto the Lord when the theme was about joy.”
“Well, what’s so wrong with that? Isn’t that scripture?” Bishop Akron said. “You might be more joyful if you obeyed your husband more,” he muttered under his breath.
“Put some base and volume in your voice; I didn’t hear you,” Andrea said, pretending not to have heard her husband’s last statement. “Anyway, like I just said, I’m too tired to argue with you. But I will say this: if you want to know what else took place, it’s best that you make no off-the-cuff remarks because I don’t have to tell you anything that took place. O-k-a-a-y?”
Bishop Akron, not in the mood for arguing with his wife either, remained quiet. I wish the conference lasted a whole week; you just don’t know how peaceful my entire day has been without you around here.
“Women now-a-days do not want to hear about that ‘be obedient and be submissive to your husband’ stuff. We know it’s in the Bible. Leave it alone and we’ll read it for ourselves when we get good and ready. That’s why the Old and New Testament folks left the written Word of God for us: so that we can read it when we get the feeling to. Back in the Old Testament days, for sure, only the priest had access to the Scrolls or tablets. So what did the people have to do? They had no choice but to listen to the priest teach the word, or at least read it to them. Today, we don’t need that. We can read it and understand it for ourselves.” Andrea gave her husband a matter-of-fact look daring him to refute what she just said. But he did.
“If you women, including you, big time, would read those scriptures for yourselves and do what it tells you to do, then we husbands and pastors would not have to preach it or teach it, whichever you wish to call what we do with the Word of God,” Bishop Akron said without blinking an eye.
“We do do it . . . but in our own way. And perhaps we would do it more if we had husbands who treated us right.”
Bishop Akron laughed. “We do do it; but in our own way,” he said echoing her words. “When was the last time you obeyed me, and I mean really obey me as in the Bible’s definition of what obedience to your husband is? Let me see: I told you not to buy those red shoes you just kicked off as you have way too many shoes occupying space in the closet, but clearly you did not obey me. Let me see again. Oh, yes, here’s another incident that’s been going on for years now. I told you I did not want you to work even before the children were born but definitely not after they were born, but no, you just had to work outside the home and are still working outside the home even though you don’t have to do so. And now you don’t even know what’s going on in our children’s lives. I asked you nicely not to have your hair cut for the women’s conference, but you chose to disobey me and have it cut short anyway. I haven’t said anything, but if you want my honest opinion, it does not look good in this cut style. What do you call it? Bobbed hair. That style does not fit the shape of your face.”
“I did not ask for your opinion because I honestly do not care what you think about it. You’re a man who obviously does not know what looks good on some woman, not even on your own wife, so stay in your calling,” she said, wagging her head.