Those were just my initial thoughts after ten minutes of the Oprah whine-athon with Meghan and Harry, and while restricting myself to only using words beginning with the letter ‘s’.
By the time I’d finished the whole two-hour orgy of pious, self-indulgent, score-settling twaddle, the steam was erupting out of my ears like an exploding geyser, and my lexicon of rageful epithets extended to the full range of the alphabet.
Never have I watched a more repulsively disingenuous interview.
Nor one more horrendously hypocritical or contradictory.
Here we had the Duke and Duchess of Privacy flinging out the filthy family laundry for the delectation of tens of millions of people all over the world, whilst simultaneously bleating about press intrusion.
They moaned about the terrible pain of their royal titles but were also outraged their son Archie wasn’t allowed to be a Prince.
They told of their constant trauma from nasty newspaper stories, but repeatedly insisted they never read any of them.
They claimed they were forced to sign gazillion-dollar deals with Netflix and Spotify because Prince Charles cut off their allowance, despite Harry inheriting millions from his late mother Princess Diana and having his entire life bankrolled by the Royal Family.
And so, it went nauseatingly on.
In the middle of a pandemic that has already taken over 2.5 million lives, a staggeringly rich and entitled couple living in a $14 million sun-kissed California mansion wanted us all to know that THEY are the real victims around here.
Meghan even compared her former life living in a palace to the crippling freedom-robbing existence of coronavirus lockdowns, which must have sounded so empathetic to large families living at the top of tower blocks with three kids they’re trying to home-school and no job to pay for food.
‘I couldn’t even meet my friends for lunch!’ wailed the Duchess of Delusion, who flew to New York for a $500,000 baby shower with all her new-found celebrity pals, then flew back to London like any good eco-warrior on George Clooney’s carbon footprint guzzling private jet.
But amid all the relatively trivial gossipy stuff emerged some incredibly damaging bombshells deliberately detonated to do maximum damage to the British Royal Family and the Monarchy.
First, Meghan claimed to have been left suicidal by the pressure of being a Princess and had her requests for help rejected by the cold, heartless Palace.
We weren’t told who did the rejecting, or why she couldn’t seek her own therapy or treatment if that’s what she felt she needed. After all, her husband has spent years talking about mental health and has close connections with all the major mental health charities.
Instead, we’re left to believe the Palace spurned a pregnant suicidal woman in her hour of desperate need.
But that wasn’t even the most explosive revelation.
No, that came when Meghan told Oprah that a member of the Royal Family had queried what colour her baby would be during a conversation with Harry.
In fact, she said there were several conversations, whereas he said there was only one.
But neither of them would name the offending Royal.
Harry said he would never reveal the name.
So, we’re now left to view all the Royals as racists.
Nor were we given any details of exactly what was said, or in what context it was said.
Would an older senior Royal innocently asking Harry what skin colour his baby might have, given that Meghan’s mother is black and her father white, constitute racism?
It would if there was any derogatory tone to the question, or any suggestion that it would be a problem how dark the child’s skin was. But we don’t know the answers to those vital questions, because having let off the racism bomb, the Sussexes won’t say any more.
I find that cowardly.
And the racism charge got worse.
Meghan followed up by asserting, without providing any evidence, that the Royal Family decided to change the rules specifically to prevent her son Archie from being a Prince, because of his skin colour.
But make no mistake, this interview will be a triumph for Meghan in America. Her narrative of a poor, vulnerable, unsuspecting bi-racial woman thrown to the wolves by a white, racist Royal Family and racist British press is already being heralded as ‘courageous’ and ‘brave’ and ‘iconic’ across the United States.
She’s got exactly what she wants: her homeland feeling sorry for her.
And woe betide anyone who criticises Meghan, for you will be instantly lambasted as a ‘racist bully’ towards a woman who stands accused of subjecting her own young female Palace staff to horrendous bullying.
But what about Prince Harry, and his own homeland of Great Britain?
How on earth could he allow his wife to take down his family like this on TV, and attack and belittle the very institution held so dear by his grandmother?
He even let her chuck his brother William’s wife Kate – a woman who has never once said a bad word about Meghan in public – under the bus by saying she made her cry in a row over kids’ wedding dresses.
That ‘space’, which is how Harry framed his current fractured relationship with William, will now be the size of 1000 Grand Canyons.
And then Harry gleefully joined in the Sopranos-style whacking too, revealing incredibly intimate secrets about his father Prince Charles of the type that he would scream in fury over if they’d been revealed by the tabloid press.
He claimed Charles stopped taking his calls last January after he and Meghan quit their country and the Royal Family and cut off his massive financial allowance too. And Harry’s still furious with his Dad, apparently, for letting him down.
Yet, what has Charles done wrong exactly, other than try to deal with his headstrong younger son’s constant self-pitying hunger for drama?
He bankrolled Harry and Meghan for years, and even stepped in to walk her down the aisle when her father pulled out after suffering a heart attack and was disowned by his daughter (where were Oprah ‘nothing’s off limits’ Winfrey questions about that?) – yet they now pay him back with this open back-stabbing treachery.
Harry disloyally says Charles and William are ‘trapped’ in the institution of the Monarchy because they are the heirs to the throne.
‘They don’t get to leave, and I have huge compassion for that,’ he claimed.
He and Meghan bang on endlessly about their compassion yet show the complete opposite to their own families.
If Charles or William wanted to leave, they could do exactly what Harry’s done, and what Edward VIII did when he abdicated the throne.
Any royal can ‘leave’.
But only Edward and Harry actually did it, both coincidentally after falling in love with American women.
The only difference is that Edward and Wallis Simpson never spoke badly in public about the Royal Family or trashed the Monarchy.
Within hours of the Oprah interview airing, the hashtag #AbolishTheMonarchy was trending on Twitter.
That’s the effect that Meghan and Harry’s accusations have had with their shockingly poisonous allegations.
Ms Markle won’t care about the damage she’s done to an institution she clearly reviles.
But Harry should.
The fact he’s so willingly taken part in such a despicable public attack on the Royal Family – HIS family – and the Monarchy is utterly shameful.
And to have caused so much extra hurt to his 94-year-old grandmother the Queen at a time when her husband lies seriously ill in hospital, is just appalling.
When it comes to mental health and having a heart, it appears Meghan and Harry only care about themselves.
SOURCE: Daily Mail, Piers Morgan