It would be nice if all conflicts were as insignificant as which way the toilet tissue is supposed to hang. But many offenses in marriage are far from trivial. Few couples escape the conflicts that result from differences in family backgrounds, personalities, or perspectives. No matter how our marriages grow in maturity, we always seem to find ways to hurt each other, either intentionally or unintentionally. And with every offense comes pain.
Hurt leaves us wide open and upsets our equilibrium. We feel as if our hearts have been torn out and our spirits brutalized. Sometimes we don’t recognize the inner pain right away; other times, we just try to hide it. We don’t tell our spouses when they have wounded us because we don’t want to appear vulnerable; we suppress the hurt and act as if nothing happened.
Just as it can be difficult for us to recognize hurt, it can also be difficult to spot anger. As long as you deny that you feel angry over your unresolved disappointment and hurts, you won’t deal with the problem. Where there has been an offense, there was hurt. And where there is unexpressed and unresolved hurt, there is anger.
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SOURCE: Christian Post, Gary Rosberg
Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg are co-founders of the international ministry America’s Family Coaches, respected marriage conference speakers, executive life and marriage coaches, award-winning authors and radio hosts. Together, they have written over a dozen prominent marriage and family resources and DVD series with almost 1 million total copies in print world-wide; including The 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love (Gold Medallion winner under the title Divorce Proof Your Marriage) and The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women, a Gold Medallion finalist. Selected books are available in more than twelve different languages. Gary and Barb met at Drake University where Barb earned her B.F.A. and Gary earned his doctorate in counseling (Ed. D.). Following graduation, Gary conducted over 25,000 hours of marriage and family counseling. Today, they are both John C Maxwell certified international speakers, trainers and coaches, Board Certified Master Life and Marriage Coaches through Light University, members of the International Christian Coaching Association and coach executive couples through The Rosberg Group. Married since 1975, Gary and Barb have two adult daughters and 12 grandchildren.