PODCAST: Domestic Violence, Part 2 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #70 with Daniel Whyte III)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #70

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #70

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Ephesians 4:2. It reads, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The means of unity: Lowliness and meekness, long-suffering, and forbearing one another in love. By lowliness we are to understand humility, entertaining mean thoughts of ourselves, which is opposed to pride. By meekness, that excellent disposition of soul which makes men unwilling to provoke others, and not easily to be provoked or offended with their infirmities; and it is opposed to angry resentments and peevishness. Long-suffering implies a patient bearing of injuries, without seeking revenge. Forbearing one another in love signifies bearing their infirmities out of a principle of love, and so as not to cease to love them on the account of these. The best Christians have need to bear one with another, and to make the best one of another, to provoke one another’s graces and not their passions. We find much in ourselves which it is hard to forgive ourselves; and therefore we must not think it much if we find that in others which we think hard to forgive them, and yet we must forgive them as we forgive ourselves. Now without these things unity cannot be preserved. The first step towards unity is humility; without this there will be no meekness, no patience, or forbearance; and without these no unity. Pride and paOnly by pride comes contention; only by humility comes love. The more lowly-mindedness the more like-mindedness. We do not walk worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called if we be not meek and lowly of heart: for he by whom we are called, he to whom we are called, was eminent for meekness and lowliness of heart, and has commanded us therein to learn of him.

Our quote for today is from Leslie Morgan Steiner. She said, “Domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships – in other words, in families – the last place we would want or expect to find violence.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 2) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

The U.S. Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a “pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.” Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can take many forms such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, and psychological abuse.

Domestic violence or intimate partner violence (OPV) may follow a three-step circular pattern.

1. Tension builds until the abuser loses control.
2. Battering occurs. The batterer sometimes feels that the victim deserves it or that he or she needs to teach the victim a lesson. Rationalization about the battering and minimization of the consequences of the abuse are common.
3. Remorse. The batterer is sorry and asks for forgiveness. The tension is gone and he or she asks for reconciliation. The batterer may make promises that “it will never happen again” and behave in very loving and contrite ways.

The third stage of the cycle looks a great deal like true repentance. However it is due only to an absence of tension and the feeling on the part of the abuser that the victim has “learned her [or his] lesson.” When this situation changes and the tension again increases, the battering can recur.
Domestic violence is fueled by the batterer’s need to control. When the victim tries to break the cycle, she or he can be in danger of more battering.
Biblical headship in a marriage is based on love and servant leadership, not on the man’s control over his wife and certainly not on physical coercion.
Abusers and victims of domestic abuse often grew up in abusive homes.
Many of the predictors of domestic violence are present in the dating relationship.

Some of these predictors are:
— use of force or violence to solve problems
— a male abuser’s need to prove himself by acting tough
— rigid ideas of what men and women should be like
— the victim’s fears of the abuser’s anger

In public, abusers can often be charming and personable but behave entirely different in private. In counseling sessions, abusers can seem quite reasonable and can try to influence you, portraying their wives as irrational or rebellious and wanting you to see their ride.

Nearly 5.3 million intimate partner victimizations occur each year among U.S. women ages 18 and older. This violence results in nearly 2 million injuries and nearly 1,300 deaths.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.


Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.