Welcome to Surviving and Thriving in The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family podcast. This is episode #3. My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society International. I am married to my first and only wife, the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica, for over 32 years, and God has blessed our marriage with seven children. The simple purpose of this podcast is to help husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children understand that true Christian marriage and family life in most cases will be a Rough Love Road experience. The Christian marriage and family is designed to break you, make you, and mold you to be what you need to be for the glory of God. And contrary to lying, hypocritical and phony Christian leaders and people today who fake like that is not the case or compromise to try to make it not the case, thus violating God’s Holy Word, the Bible, and contrary to most Christian authors today on the family, to have a victorious Christian marriage and family it is not about cute techniques, manipulation and compromise, it is about simple obedience to the Bible especially in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6, working from a position of Godly authority with the husband (male) being the head of every marriage and family under God and Jesus Christ, and the wife (female) being in submission to her husband whether she likes it or not, and with the children being in obedience to their parents whether they like it or not. So marriage and family will be a Rough Love Road experience and, yes, it will take “tough love” as well. The only way to have your family to turn out well “in time to come” is by simply being obedient to God’s Holy Word whether you feel like it or not. Which in other words means staying together with your first spouse and not divorcing, which is your biggest sign of success. By the way, I am very sorry, but this podcast is not for divorced people, it is designed for young couples who are determined to stick it out no matter what, it is for couples who may have had some problems in the past but are determined to obey God and stay together no matter how they feel, and it is for people who believe that keeping their vows to God and staying together and not divorcing is a worthy goal and means success in marriage in God’s sight, and for people for whom divorce is simply not an option. Any compromise, any games, any lies will cause your family to be a failure as opposed to being victorious.
Our scripture passage for this episode is Ephesians 5:22 which states, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
Now, allow me to share with you some more commentary on this passage from David Guzik:
c. To your own husbands: This defines the sphere of a wife’s submission. The Bible never commands a general submission of women unto men in society. This order is commanded only in the spheres of the home and in the church. God has not commanded in His word that men have exclusive authority in the areas of politics, business, education, and so on.
d. As to the Lord: This is a crucial phrase. It colors everything else we understand about this passage. There have been two main wrong interpretations of this phrase, each favoring a certain position.
i. The first wrong interpretation is that the interpretation that favors the husband says that as to the Lord means that a wife should submit to her husband as if he were God himself. The idea is “you submit to God in absolutely everything without question, so you must submit to your husband in the same absolute way.” This interpretation believes that the words “as to the Lord“ defines the extent of submission.
ii. This is wrong. It is true that the wife owes the husband a great deal of respect. Peter sets this across when he praises Sarah, the wife of Abraham, as an example of a godly wife, when she called Abraham “Lord.” That doesn’t mean “Lord” in the sense of God, but “Lord” in the sense of “master.” That is a lot of respect. Yet still, it doesn’t go as far as to say, “You submit completely to God, so you must submit to your husband the same way.” Simply put, in no place does the Scripture say that a person should submit to another in that way. There are limits to the submission your employer can expect of you. There are limits to the submission the government can expect of you. There are limits to the submission parents can expect of children. In no place does the Scripture teach an unqualified, without exception, submission – except to God and God alone. To violate this is to commit the sin of idolatry.
Our quote for this episode is from Karen M. Gray. She said, “You often hear it said that people have bad marriages, but in fact, this is not true. Marriage is a God instituted covenant between a man and a woman, and it is good. That has never changed. The institution hasn’t failed – people are failing to work out their problems. Couples are simply giving up and walking away, or simply have no idea what they can try next. The good news is that even “soured” relationships can be healed. Things can change. People can change. Marriages can be better than they ever were before.”
Thoughts from Yours Truly on The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family: It is a crime for a man to leave his wife and children in the morning without praying and reading the Bible with them.*
In this podcast, we are using the late John R. Rice’s classic book: “The Home—Courtship, Marriage and Children: A Bible Manual of 22 Chapters on the Christian Home.”
We continue with Chapter 1: Marriage and Home:
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him.”—Gen. 2:18.
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”—Heb. 13:4.
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”—Matt. 19:4-6.
Someone has said that the three sweetest words in the English language are mother, home, and Heaven. These three words center around the middle one. No one thinks of mother without thinking about home. And home itself ought to be a picture, a reminder, of Heaven. Nearly everybody who ever thinks about Heaven thinks about loved ones whom he expects to meet with there. So the home is rooted in the heart’s tenderest devotion and memories and aspirations of every normal person.
In Psalm 68:6 the Scripture says, “God setteth the solitary in families.” That means that one of the great blessings God gives is the home and the family. How much better it is that the unit of the family should exist, with its tender ties, with its safe protection, with its sure provision for those who could not stand alone. A chicken is able to pick its own food, with a little supervision and protection by the mother, soon after it is hatched out of the shell. And in a few weeks’ time the chicken does not need a mother at all. Even a kitten or a puppy is soon able to eat and go without the parent’s protection and care. But a baby should be fed, normally, at the mother’s breast for ten or twelve months, and then must be provided for and protected and fed and clothed long years before the child is able to care for his own needs and live his independent life. God evidently extended the growing period for children so that they could be in a home and there be molded and protected and taught and developed in the bosom of the family. Thank God that we are not out scratching for our own food in a few weeks’ time as a baby chick is! God’s great mercy has provided this boon, this comfort, this privilege to human beings; He “setteth the solitary in families.” What a sweet provision of God for us all is the home!
— PRAYER —
Now, if you and your family do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, here’s how to.
First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”
Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”