Welcome to Surviving and Thriving in The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family podcast. This is episode #1. My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society International. I am married to my first and only wife, the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica, for over 32 years, and God has blessed our marriage with seven children. The simple purpose of this podcast is to help husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children understand that true Christian marriage and family life in most cases will be a Rough Love Road experience. The Christian marriage and family is designed to break you, make you, and mold you to be what you need to be for the glory of God. And contrary to lying, hypocritical and phony Christian leaders and people today who fake like that is not the case or compromise to try to make it not the case, thus violating God’s Holy Word, the Bible, and contrary to most Christian authors today on the family, to have a victorious Christi an marriage and family it is not about cute techniques, manipulation and compromise, it is about simple obedience to the Bible especially in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6, working from a position of Godly authority with the husband (male) being the head of every marriage and family under God and Jesus Christ, and the wife (female) being in submission to her husband whether she likes it or not, and with the children being in obedience to their parents whether they like it or not. So marriage and family will be a Rough Love Road experience and, yes, it will take “tough love” as well. The only way to have your family to turn out well “in time to come” is by simply being obedient to God’s Holy Word whether you feel like it or not. Which in other words means staying together with your first spouse and not divorcing, which is your biggest sign of success. By the way, I am very sorry, but this podcast is not for divorced people, it is designed for young couples who are determined to stick it out no matter what, it is for couples who may have had some problems in the past but are determined to obey God and stay together no matter how they feel, and it is for people who believe that keeping their vows to God and staying together and not divorcing is a worthy goal and means success in marriage in God’s sight, and for people for whom divorce is simply not an option. Any compromise, any games, any lies will cause your family to be a failure as opposed to being victorious.
Our scripture passage for this episode is Ephesians 5:22 which states, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
Now, allow me to share with you some commentary on this passage from David Guzik:
1. (Eph 5:22) Walking in the light means wives submit to their husbands.
a. Wives: Paul addressed wives and their responsibility in the Christian marriage first. This isn’t because they are the bigger problem or because they need special attention. The reason is that the apostle was particularly concerned about this question of submission. That was the principle that he introduced in Ephesians 5:21. This aspect of submission has a particular application to wives in a Christian marriage.
i. The same logic continues on into Ephesians 6. Children are addressed before parents because Paul was primarily concerned about submission. Slaves are addressed before their masters because the apostle was primarily concerned about submission.
b. Wives, submit: To submit means that you recognize someone has legitimate authority over you. It means you recognize that there is an order of authority, and that you are part of a unit, a team. You as an individual are not more important than the working of the unit or the team.
i. When we submit to God, we recognize God’s authority and act accordingly. When we submit to the police, we recognize the authority of the police and act accordingly. When we submit to our employer, we recognize the authority of our employer and act accordingly.
ii. Submission does not mean inferiority. As well, submission does not mean silence. Submission means “sub-mission.” There is a mission for the Christian marriage, and that mission is obeying and glorifying God. The wife says, “I’m going to put myself under that mission. That mission is more important than my individual desires. I’m not putting myself below my husband, I’m putting myself below the mission God has for our marriage, for my life.”
Our quote for this episode is from Tim Keller. He said, “The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”
Thoughts From Yours Truly on The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family: It is a crime for a man to leave his wife and children in the morning without praying and reading the Bible with them.
In this podcast, we are using the late John R. Rice’s classic book: “The Home—Courtship, Marriage and Children: A Bible Manual of 22 Chapters on the Christian Home.”
We start with the Preface (Part 1):
Much free advice is given about how to make marriage happy and successful. Some of this advice is good, some of it is bad, some of it is frivolous and incidental. Husbands and wives are exhorted to divide up the money evenly so there will be no quarrel, or to agree on a budget, each one to have his own part for his own personal expenses and the rest of the income apportioned to definite needs. Husbands are advised to bring home flowers and candy to the wife. The wife is told that if she expects to hold her husband’s love she must put on a fresh dress before he comes from the office, and meet him with a kiss. Some writers tell wives to appear to concede the husband’s every request but to guide him quietly into her own way unnoticed by the unsuspecting male. The husbands are told that if they will take their wives out dancing or to the theater, their marriage will turn out happily. Wives with philandering husbands are advised to laugh off the indiscretions of their mates, and husbands are told that they must not be jealous if they want their wives to continue to love them. That kind of twaddle fills the advice columns in the newspapers and books on marriage and the home.
“Never force your will on a child. To do so may break down his self-respect and cause him to live a frustrated life the rest of his days!” advises some maiden lady who never had a child. Another columnist thinks that the boy should call his daddy “Bill” and the girl should call her mother “Susie,” and that will make everything lovely in the home! Those who have trouble in the home are advised to see a psychiatrist. The counselors speak as if the integrity and happiness and spiritual welfare of the home depend on no more than a flower in a woman’s hair or a bit of rouge on her cheek or on simply deciding to have a financial budget or on a man’s bringing home a box of candy. These incidentals are well enough in their place, but sensible people ought to know that what is wrong with godless homes goes deeper than that. Where, oh, where is there honest, intelligent, practical teaching from the Word of God on how to have a successful, prosperous marriage, rear godly children, and make home a bit of Heaven on earth? Certainly we need more such teaching.
There are a few good books on the home, but they do not usually deal with the great issues concerning the home which are discussed in the Bible. It is all well enough to tell husband and wife to stay sweethearts, and that everybody must talk nicely in the home and say, “Please,” and “Thank you”; that husbands must be courtly and keep on wooing their wives, and that wives must be soft-spoken and dress up for their husbands. But home problems are deeper than that and the needs of perplexed and troubled and sinning husbands and wives are greater than that. People need a Bible manual on home and marriage and children and worship and discipline and godly living in the home. These are some of the reasons I have made an honest effort to give plain Bible teaching on the problems of marriage and home in these pages.
In this volume I do not claim any special wisdom. I simply profess to be God’s preacher, trying to tell what He says in His Word about some holy matters, with practical applications. If readers will receive the book kindly—overlooking, because of the honest motive that prompted me to write it, the shortcomings therein—I shall be eternally grateful. Many men could do much better what is here attempted than can I. But I do long to help people to live before God in the home and make home a bit of Heaven on earth, and I shall earnestly pray God to bless these chapters to that end.
— PRAYER —
Now, if you and your family do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, here’s how to.
First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”
Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”