If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together

God hates divorce.

Jesus said about divorce in Matthew 19:4-6, “…Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

“She insists she’s in love with me—whatever that is.  What she means is, she prefers the senseless pain we inflict on each other to the pain we would otherwise inflict on ourselves.” —Paddy Chayefsky, from the movie, Altered States, as quoted in the book If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together

I have not read the book, but I love the frank title: If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together. And I love the fact that a lawyer tries to help folks stay married instead of actually encouraging couples to divorce. Just looking at the Table of Contents, I do not think it is written from a Christian perspective. However, he emphasizes some things that some Christians who are so heavenly-minded they are no earthly good need to hear. In general, here is what he is trying to get across to readers:

  1. Tell the truth. Be honest. Lies will kill a marriage every time. Be real and be present.
  2. Sex is important. Have as much sex as possible until you die. “Sex is a pillar of marriage.”
  3. Perish the thought of a live-in nanny. Somebody is going to have sex with her—every time.
  4. Stay off Facebook. He said “If we were designing an adultery-generating machine, it would look like Facebook.”
  5. Listen to Dave Ramsey everyday and get the hell out of debt.
  6. Care for your marriage on purpose. Don’t let it drift.
  7. Avoid the many ways of committing adultery.

Attorney James Sexton said that by the time you get to his office it is too late because the marriage is destroyed beyond repair.

So don’t go to his office. Do this instead: go to the family verses in the Bible and read them together each morning as a couple and or as a family for one hundred days and see what God will do.

The family verses are Ephesians 5:22 through Ephesians 6:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

6 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;

With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:

Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,

20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

21 But that ye also may know my affairs, and how I do, Tychicus, a beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord, shall make known to you all things:

22 Whom I have sent unto you for the same purpose, that ye might know our affairs, and that he might comfort your hearts.

23 Peace be to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

24 Grace be with all them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen.

– Ella Breedlove