25 Really Strange Things Church Members Said to Pastors

Dr. Thom Rainer

It’s not a boring vocation.

If you serve as a pastor or church staff member, there is rarely a boring moment. A few years ago, I began polling pastors and church staff and collecting some really weird things church members said to them.

Here is my current top 25. I modified some to fit into a direct quote, but the essence remains. The words in italics are my own commentaries.

  1. “Will you bless me divorcing my husband so I can marry a convicted murder? God told me to do it”. Yes, I am sure that’s exactly what God said.
  2. Said to a pastor in his ordination council: “What is your view on Christian missions in space?” Space the final frontier . . . to boldly go where no man has gone before.
  3. After the church member had surgery: “Pastor, will you pray for me to pass gas.” Maybe there was a spontaneous answer to that prayer.
  4. “I want you to come see my display of nude art.” I’m still trying to find out what the pastor decided.
  5. During the offertory: “Pastor, do you have change for a twenty?”Probably a deacon.
  6. To a worship pastor after the service: “Here’s the bulletin. I graded each song based on how worshipful it was.” Thank you. We will be sending you your grades on how much the church staff likes you.
  7. “Can we put the children’s moment back in the bulletin? I know we don’t have any children but the old folks like it.” Yes, we will alternate it every week with the senior moment.
  8. “I use to be a warlock.” Was that before or after you became a deacon?
  9. Just before the service began: “Pastor, there’s no toilet tissue in the women’s restroom.” Makes you wonder what she would have said if the pastor was in the women’s restroom replacing toilet tissue.
  10. “Thank you for shaving your facial hair, because the Bible forbids it.” You’re right. It’s right there in the Bible at Hezekiah 3:16.

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SOURCE: ThomRainer.com