Here’s the Advice An Abstinence Advocate Gave 7th Graders About Waiting For Sex That we Can All Use

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There are many excuses teens (and adults) regularly hear and use about why waiting for sex isn’t possible.


But an abstinence advocate and women’s ministry leader is helping young women sift through the lies with honest conversation.

Rattling off and debunking excuses, Carol Sallee, director of women’s ministries at New Beginnings Church in Bixby, OK, started with a popular justification.

“‘We couldn’t help ourselves,’” she said, according to Enid News. “Yes, you can. When was the last time you went to the mall and people were laying on the ground outside The Gap having sex? You can control yourself.”

Sallee was imparting wisdom to help girls from Garfield County remain abstinent. And even though her audience was made up of seventh-grade girls at an Abstinence Tea hosted by the Hope Outreach Parenting Ministry, her insights are useful for women at any age.

“‘It was an accident,” continued Sallee, moving on to the next over-used excuse for premarital sex. “’This is accidental sex: I’m walking out in the morning to get my newspaper, fully dressed. There is a man coming toward me on a bicycle. He is also fully dressed. We crash into each other, our clothes fly up into the air, we land on the sidewalk and we are having sex,” she said in the mocking scenario demonstrating the absurdity of that line of reasoning. “It’s never accidental.”

Aside from doing a bit of myth-busting, Sallee educated attendees on what they need to believe if they want to be successful on their abstinence journey.

“You have to believe you were created special and you are of great worth,” she said. “You have to believe there is a unique plan for your life, and you need to live your life with that future in mind. And you need to know it’s worth the wait.”

Since statistics show that half of American teens have had sex by the time they turn 18, Sallee strove to make a very strong case for waiting.

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SOURCE: Empowering Everyday Women Ministries – Kelli Jones