What Would a Donald Trump Presidency Mean for Black America?

Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential candidate, speaks in New York May 3, 2016, following his primary victory in Indiana. JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential candidate, speaks in New York May 3, 2016, following his primary victory in Indiana.
JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

Who is Ted Cruz? 

Ted Cruz is a senator from Texas who was a candidate for the Republican nomination for president of the United States until dropping out of the race Tuesday. He is also maybe (probably) a Komodo dragon wearing a human’s skin suit and maybe (probably) a serial killer.

Really?

Yes, he really dropped out of the race Tuesday.

No, I was asking about the other stuff. Is he really a 6-foot lizard in a human skin suit and a probable murderer?

Let me put it this way: Do I know, with 100 percent certainty, that he murdered three people in a Applebee’s bathroom in 2011, left a note that said, “This wasn’t clean. I’ll be better next time,” and sat down and finished his three-cheese chicken cavatappi? No, I do not. But I do not know, with 100 percent certainty, that he didn’t do that either. All I know is that this motherf–ker probably has a history of violence.

With Cruz dropping out, doesn’t that mean Donald Trump is now the presumptive nominee?

It does.

Are you planning on moving to Canada like many others have threatened to do if Trump is elected?

I would definitely move to Canada. Toronto is one of my three favorite cities. It’s basically a smaller, safer and kinder New York City with 80 percent less smells and 640 percent less roaches. It’s the Lupita Nyong’o of North American cities.

But, I wouldn’t be moving there because of Trump.

So you’re not frightened by the idea of him being president?

I am not.

So you don’t care if he’s president?

Oh, I definitely do care. Hillary Clinton, who will probably be the Democratic nominee, seems to be as authentic and trustworthy as Chipotle grits, but I’d vote for her 137,879,892 times before I voted for Trump. S–t, I’d vote for the Chipotle grits before Trump. At least you could use them to cauterize wounds.

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Source: The Root | DAMON YOUNG