WATCH: Husband and Wife Al Roker and Deborah Roberts Open Up About the Key to Their 20-Year Marriage In New Book, “Been There, Done That”

Al Roker and Deborah Roberts' new book, 'Been There, Done That: Family Wisdom for Modern Times,' is about their marriage and raising three kids. (Photo: Michael Monday, USA TODAY)
Al Roker and Deborah Roberts’ new book, ‘Been There, Done That: Family Wisdom for Modern Times,’ is about their marriage and raising three kids.
(Photo: Michael Monday, USA TODAY)

She’s a news correspondent for ABC’s 20/20 and Good Morning America. He hangs out the weather shingle for NBC’s Today show.

She describes herself as a “bit of a control freak.” He’s more laid back. She suffers from “Mom guilt.” As a parent, he’s “generally fairly laissez faire but somewhat old school.”

Deborah Roberts and Al Roker may have different styles – she is chatty and analytical, he likes to go for the pithy zinger – but they’ve just celebrated 20 years of marriage. And now they’re sharing what they’ve learned along the way in their new book, Been There, Done That: Family Wisdom for Modern Times (New American Library).

The couple volley back and forth good-naturedly, a la Hepburn and Tracy, joking about whether they’ve read the chapters the other wrote (they alternate voices in the book).  Friends who’ve witnessed their “spirited debates” suggested they either write it all down or “have a reality show,” but  “we’re not going to do that,” Roberts says.

So in the anecdote-filled Been There, they talk about growing up in large families with strong parents (Roberts went to a segregated school in Georgia until the fourth grade; Roker is from Queens, N.Y.); their careers and raising their kids. And they discuss the help they’ve received over the years from couples’ therapy.

“It should be required for every couple,” says Roberts, 55. “If nothing else, it’s like having a referee or an impartial kind of judge,” says Roker, 61. And they believe that communication – “talk, talk, and more talk,” says Roberts, advice from his mother – is key to a happy marriage. “Especially when Deborah talks and tells me how I should feel,” Roker quips. “It’s so much easier. I go, ‘Yes, absolutely.'”

Al Roker and his wife, Deborah Roberts, are co-authors who have bantering down to an art. (Photo: Michael Monday, USA TODAY)
Al Roker and his wife, Deborah Roberts, are co-authors who have bantering down to an art. (Photo: Michael Monday, USA TODAY)

 

Al Roker and Deborah Roberts / GETTY
Al Roker and Deborah Roberts / GETTY

 

'Been There, Done That' by Al Roker and Deborah Roberts (Photo: NAL)
‘Been There, Done That’ by Al Roker and Deborah Roberts (Photo: NAL)

Roberts says they first started seeing a counselor “because we were combining a family.” Roker has a daughter, Courtney, 28, from his first marriage (she’s part of the Today show’s food team). Roker and Roberts are parents to Leila, 17, an aspiring singer and 11th grader, and Nick, 13. They write about Nick’s learning disabilities, but also what a hard worker he is (he has a black belt in tae kwon do).

“One of the things that’s really wonderful about him,” says Roker, “is in a sense you kind of learn about yourself through him. You learn about patience, you learn about love, you learn about acceptance.”

“And determination,” says Roberts.

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SOURCE: USA Today