Tony and Lauren Dungy Share Sage Advice for Longevity In Marriage

Tony and Lauren Dungy

One of our favorite Christian couples, Tony and Lauren Dungy, co-authors of Uncommon Marriage: Learning about Lasting Love and Overcoming Life’s Obstacles Together, share lots of sage advice for longevity in marriage.


We love it.

In a 2014 sit-down interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, the award-winning former NFL coach who has been married to Lauren for over 30 years said, “If you ask us that one key to having an uncommon marriage, I really do think it’s praying together—praying for your spouse all the time, but praying together with your spouse, that’s what makes it special.”

Lauren said, “For us it works first thing in the morning, before we get busy with the kids, before we get busy with our daily routine, we get up and we take time to pray together and read. We have the fellowship with our Heavenly Father.”

She added, “Jesus Christ is the center of our lives. He directs everything and we’re living to serve Him.”

So what other tips are there for keeping it all together long after the walk down the aisle is a distant memory and the day to day grind of life sets in?

Here are some Bible-based tips from Empowering Everyday Women Online Magazine.

1. Never Go to Bed Angry.
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26)

No matter how lovey-dovey we are and how amazing our marriages may be, we all butt heads with our spouse from time-to-time. There are days when you want to wring his neck and he yours.

Differences of opinion create tension, but you still must live with each other and love one another through it. So in those times when your personalities clash, be careful not to let your emotions control you to the point where you become vengeful, mean, inconsiderate, abrasive, cold and unfeeling. Get things right before you go to sleep. After all, tomorrow is not promised to any of us!

2. Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)

When you’re communicating, if you’re fighting to get your point across without understanding where the other person is coming from, that’s a recipe for disaster. Some arguments and heated debates can be diffused before they ever get started if you take time to understand the perspective of your spouse.

Often, we end up bickering because both parties want to be heard and no one wants to stop and hear. As my grandmother, who was married 60 years before my “Pop-Pop” died always told me, “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.”

3. Don’t Ever use your Words to Tear the Other Person Down.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)

I must confess. Being too quick to speak has been a vice of mine for some time. God has really dealt with me over the years and He is yet working on me in this area. I know there is no such thing as a perfect person and we all “offend in word” sometimes as James 3:2 clearly states.

But experience has taught me that apologies don’t erase hurtful comments, so we have to be careful of what we say. Wounding someone with our tongue takes only seconds, but reversing the psychological and emotional damage caused by words hurled as weapons, can take years to heal.

Sticks and stones break bones, and misused words break hearts and spirits.

4. You are Responsible for Building a Strong, Healthy Home.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1)

I had a friend of mine that used to call me at all times of the day and night. She wanted to chat for hours. She would drop by unannounced and it was really beginning to bother my husband. I had to nip that situation in the bud to preserve the peaceful and happy environment of my home.

Every day we have the opportunity to make choices that will impact our home life. We must ask God for the wisdom to choose rightly, thereby strengthening our marriage.

Click here to read more.

SOURCE: EEW Magazine