Twenty More Funny and Strange Things Church Members Say to Pastors and Staff

Thom Rainer
Thom Rainer

If you get a group of pastors and church staff together, you will inevitably hear some pretty unusual comments they received from church members. So I did an informal Twitter poll to get some of these comments in writing.

There were so many good submissions; narrowing the list to twenty was a difficult process. Ultimately, I was able to get the number down to my requisite count. Here they are. Some of the comments have been modified slightly to reflect a direct quote.

1. “I am not a Christian; I am a Baptist.” I don’t know why I found this one so funny.

2. “Do you grow weed in your closet?” The church member actually wanted to look in the pastor’s closet to confirm his suspicions.

3. “Sorry I was late to church. My dog, Rambo, and I have been witnessing to people.” Rambo must be a special dog.

4. “I don’t know if I will be able to help with baptism tomorrow. I’m bleeding from my rectum. I think it’s hemorrhoids.” By all means, please stay home.

5. “Are you the one who keeps taking the beer off my daddy’s grave?” I’m left wondering how daddy gets the beer.

6. “So did you fly or drive there?” That was a question asked of a pastor after he returned from a trip to the continent of Africa.

7. “We never had these storms until you came.” Those are words said to a pastor after hurricanes Rita and Ike.

8. “You need to turn all the lights up during worship. You can’t worship God when it’s dark because He is light.” There has to be a theological response to that.

9. “Can you perform a ceremony just short of marriage for just living together?” Do you take this roommate . . .

10. “I really appreciate the content of your sermons, but I can’t stand to watch you as you deliver it.” It would be tough to take that statement as a compliment.

Click here to read more.

SOURCE: The Christian Post
Dr. Thom Rainer is president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention.