Why Christians Need to Stop Shaming and Start Enjoying Sex


“If they only knew the things my “pastor husband” and I did last night….” 

She said these words with a chuckle, paired with a ridiculously huge smile plastered on her face. For a second, I didn’t believe my ears.

I was having lunch with one of my mentors and we had been discussing the topic of sex. I wasn’t married at the time, and for some reason the idea of two godly people enjoying sex that much seemed a little too “edgy” for me to hear, much less discuss in the middle of a restaurant.

If I’m completely honest, at the time, it made me feel a little uncomfortable to hear. But then again, there was so much about sex that I had wrong.

But these are the conversations that slowly began opening my eyes and re-shaping the way I viewed sex…and in turn, changing my future.

—-Fast forward 10 years—–

My husband and I have an AWESOME sex life.

Does that make you uncomfortable to hear? My guess is: probably (especially if you happen to be related to me…..).

I wouldn’t typically feel the need to share this fact with you, but even my hesitancy in sharing this fact depicts a continued problem within my own belief system, too.

You see, I’m not here to brag, and I’ll be the first to admit that it took us years of building trust. Our sexual connection wasn’t instantaneous, and we’ve had a lot of learning, practice, and even tears along the way. But what I’m trying to say is that sex has the potential to be more than good- it has the potential to be amazing.

But for some reason, we don’t really talk about that part, do we?

Want a picture of amazing? Just read the Song of Solomon. A story of two people, madly in love with God and with one another, giving of themselves selflessly for the pleasure and good of the other. Talk about an amazing sex-life. And one that God chose to put smack-dab in the middle of the Holy Bible for us to see, to know, to learn.

But my question is, why is that we hardly hear that side of the story in the Christian culture? Oh, we talk about sex alright, but in a slightly different way. We talk about the dangers of premarital sex, the STD’s, the guilt and shame, the pregnancy out of wedlock.

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Source: TrueLoveDates.com

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life as well as the 21-Days To JumpStart Your Love-Life Program, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 100+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of the True Love Dates Blog! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!

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