Tullian Tchividjian, the former pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian church in Florida, who resigned in May after admitting to an affair, has said in a heartfelt message to supporters that he and his family have been overwhelmed by the ordeal, but he is relying on Jesus and willing to let people see him “at the bottom.”
“As you can imagine, the last few months have changed my life forever. Nothing will ever be the same. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up one morning and it will have all been a bad, bad dream. But that morning never comes,” Tchividjian, who is the grandson of famous evangelist Billy Graham, shared on Facebook.
“Instead, I wake up every day and am freshly hit with the fact that this nightmare is real. My family and I are, at every imaginable level, overwhelmed. What life will look like from here on out is completely unknown to us. And that scares me. But we are alive and not without hope. We are certain that better and brighter days are ahead.”
Tchividjian noted that he is spending his days looking for a new job, so that he can provide for his family, and admitted that he wants to “disappear.”
“Nothing seems more appealing to me on most days than to simply vanish. But here’s my struggle: I actually believe the message that I’ve preached with all my might (and which I need now more than ever),” he wrote.
“If I only let you see me when I’m ‘good’ and ‘strong’ and polished and ‘at the top,’ I undermine the very message that I claim to believe. I am tempted to hide until I am ‘shiny’ again,” he continued.
“But if I run away because I don’t want you to see me broken and weak and sad and angry and struggling with fear and guilt and shame, then I fail to practice what I preach — and one of the many things I’ve learned from this is that failing to practice what you preach is destructive.”
SOURCE: STOYAN ZAIMOV
Less than six weeks after resigning as the senior pastor of a prominent Ft. Lauderdale-based church because of an affair, Tullian Tchividjian says he has no plans to withdraw from the public eye.
“One of the big questions I’ve wrestled with is, how do I properly steward this glorious ruin?” wrote Tchividjian on his Facebook page Tuesday. While Billy Graham’s grandson wanted to crawl “into a hole and be anonymous for a long, long time,” Tchividjian said he feared that his message of grace—the topic of many of his previous books—might be undermined if he stayed quiet.
“If I only let you see me when I’m ‘good’ and ‘strong’ and polished and ‘at the top’, I undermine the very message that I claim to believe,” wrote Tchividjian. “…But if I run away because I don’t want you to see me broken and weak and sad and angry and struggling with fear and guilt and shame, then I fail to practice what I preach—and one of the many things I’ve learned from this is that failing to practice what you preach is destructive.”
Tchividjian, who has continued to tweet and post on Facebook since the news of his affair broke, said he would use the social media platforms to update the public on “the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
“My dad would’ve been 76 today,” he wrote. “No one would’ve helped me more right now than him. I miss him. Bad.”
Tchividjian’s ministry Liberate, which launched in 2012, closed indefinitely and canceled its upcoming conference following his resignation.
SOURCE: Bob Smietana and Morgan Lee