How Men and Women Differ in Their View of Sex

loving-black-couple-16x9

We believe that sex is a beautiful, God-given desire that can bring a husband and wife together in oneness. We also believe sex is a thermometer that measures the depth of the relationship—its presence or absence often indicates the level of commitment and intimacy in other areas of your marriage. 

For sex to be truly satisfying to both partners, each has to risk being totally open and vulnerable to the other. Each person in the marriage should feel needed, wanted, accepted and loved sacrificially. And one of the keys to building this type of relationship is understanding the general differences between men and women in how they view sex. These differences cause certain expectations on the part of men and women that often lead to misunderstanding, frustration, and disappointment.

The chart that follows is a general guide to the differences between men and women in this area. Obviously, this chart is not absolute comparison—it compares the general tendencies and differences between men and women and how they view sex.

 

Differences in Sexuality
Men Women
Orientation Physical
Compartmentalized
Physical oneness
Variety
Sex is high priority
Relational
Wholistic
Emotional oneness
Security
Other priorities may be higher
Stimulation Sight
Smell
Body centered
Touch
Attitudes
Actions
Words
Person-centered
Needs Respect
Admiration
Physically needed
Not to be put down
Understanding
Love
Emotionally needed
Time
Sexual Response Acyclical
Quick excitement
Initiates (usually)
Difficult to distract
Cyclical
Slow excitement
Responder (usually)
Easily distracted
Orgasm Propagation of species
Shorter more intense
Physically oriented
Orgasm usually needed for satisfaction
Propagation of oneness
Longer, more in depth
Emotionally-oriented
Satisfaction often possible without orgasm

How much of what you read in this chart is true of your own sexual relationship with your spouse? When we read through information like this, we are reminded of how God takes a man and woman with such different needs and uses those differences to complement each other—to create a “one flesh” relationship.

Most men tend to focus on the physical aspects of a relationship. They are stimulated, drawn, captivated by the sight of their wife. They get excited or at least interested quickly by visual or physical stimulation. Most men can be ready for physical intimacy in minutes. Once sexual release is in the forefront of his mind, it becomes dominant in his focus. Men at this point are ready to move ahead with the process of seeking sexual release through intercourse.

Generally, men put a much higher priority on sex than women do, and women have a different orientation that demands a different approach. A woman is more oriented to the relationship. A man wants physical oneness; the woman desires emotional oneness. Sight, smell, and the body stimulate a man. Touch, attitudes, actions, words, and the whole person stimulate the woman.

Click here to read more

Source: FamilyLife.com | Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s