WHCD 2015: Obama Jokes About his Fourth-Quarter ‘Bucket List’ Among Other Things

President Obama came out swinging during his speech at this year’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner Saturday night.

Obama joked at the packed Washington Hilton hotel that during the so-called fourth quarter of his presidency – his final two years in office – he was feeling more loose.

“Those Joe Biden shoulder massages are like magic. You should try one. Oh, you have?” Obama joked.

Obama said that while he may not have a bucket list, he “has something that rhymes with ‘bucket list.’

“Executive action on immigration? Bucket,” Obama said to laughs. “New climate regulations? Bucket. It’s the right thing to do. My new attitude is paying off. Look at my Cuba policy. The Castro brothers are here tonight.”

“Oh, it’s the Castros from Texas?” Obama said.

Obama addressed 2,600 people at the annual star-studded bash, which brings together members of the media, politicians and celebrities.

Some key zingers from the president:

– “I look so old, John Boehner’s already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.”

– Noting you no longer have to lose your insurance if you lose your job, Obama said, “You’re welcome, Senate Democrats.”

– On those who call Obama aloof: “Some people are so dumb, no wonder I don’t meet with them.”

– He jabbed Hillary Clinton’s nascent campaign: “Just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she’s now living out of a van in Iowa.”

– The Secret Service’s foolproof way to keep people off the White House lawn? John McCain with a broom. And the plan to keep drones away? Joe Biden with a baseball bat.

– Obama said he and Biden have gotten so close, “In some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.

– On ABC’s sitcom “Blackish,” he said, “Being Blackish only makes you popular for so long.”

– “The polar vortex caused so many record lows, they renamed it MSNBC.”

– “Galileo believed the Earth revolved around the sun. Ted Cruz believes the Earth revolves around Ted Cruz.”

– “And Donald Trump is here. Still. Anyway…”

– Handicapping the 2016 GOP White House race, he compared it to “The Bachelor.” “I for one cannot wait to see who the Koch brothers pick.”

SOURCE: The Hill – Jesse Byrnes