4 Ways to Make Sure Your Husband Feels Respected


In Parts 1 (8 Reasons Your Husband Isn’t Talking to You) and 2 (4 Tips for Getting Your Husband to Talk to You), we considered why a wife needs her husband to talk, why he’s not talking, and what can be done to improve communication. Much of what was written was baby steps and procedural, hoping that seeing life from the other spouse’s perspective will help smooth out communication glitches.

Marriages can have more than just communication glitches. Marriages can have communication breakdowns indicative of problems in the marriage. Communication is one of several barometers that measure marriage conditions, including emotional closeness or distancing. The more you attempt to move toward him, using good strategies for communication, the more he moves away. When you approach, he gets defensive. He shuts down. Communication breaks down. What happened and what can be done?

You’re Not Communicating Respect

Couples can play ugly, destructive games.

When your husband refuses to talk, you feel the pain of silence deeply and personally. When you withdraw your respect, he feels the dishonor deeply and personally.

Wife thinks: You won’t talk to me, I won’t respect you.

Wife communicates: No one would ever respect you.

Husband thinks: You won’t respect me, I won’t give you access to my thoughts.

Husband communicates: You’re a non-person. That’s why I won’t do that little, “We need to talk” thing.

Couples Neglect the Essentials

Your failure to communicate respect may not be a conscious game you’re playing. It may be life. Work, the kids, social media—maybe it has gotten in the way of energizing your relationship with your husband. Ultimately, his needs are only met in God not in you as his our spouse; but humanly speaking, his marriage needs aren’t being met. Before you read that to mean he wants more sex, remember his other marriage need: respect. It’s quite likely that your marriage vows included the word respect. This is a respect that is unconditional. It is unrelated to his employment, his performance, and his physique. There should never be a day when you don’t communicate, “You’re my man, and I respect you above all others.”

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Source: Crosswalk | Marie Wellmond, MarriageHelper.com

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