Someone once told me the first child is a like a product test or lab experiment. My first son’s journey from angelic child to moody pre-teen is being closely watched. It can be compared to a first child’s framed sonogram photo to the second child’s that was used as book mark in a novel you never finished reading. Only this time the attention placed on child #1 is not as warm and fuzzy as it was 13 years ago. The first child is not a template for the next kid, he’s a blinking caution sign and the smart second child adheres to the warning.
Being a second child myself, I have no problem admitting that I learned many a life lesson by watching my older live through things first. Not saying it’s fair, just saying that’s the way it is.
My having sons adds another dynamic to this teen-aged thing. Boys are a lot different than girls and anyone who tries to argue that boys act the way they do because they are conditioned by their environment has probably never raised boys. Never in my life have I announced an upcoming onslaught of flatulence or laughed at one the way my sons do.
When my eldest turned 13 last week I have to say I was thankful to see that he has already begun to show me the man he is to be. Yes there has been some rough sledding but so far it has served to smooth the way as he makes his passage. It’s almost sad to me that our culture does not have a formal ceremony that honors males going from boy to manhood the way the Jewish religion does. Maybe there should be a ceremony for moms and dads too for that matter. Just as your child has never crossed this path before, neither have you as his or her parent and surviving it is cause for rejoice.
In theory we can all wrap our brains around the fact that by age 12 our children are moving from childhood to adulthood, the hard part is accepting that transition with grace and sanity.
While I’m in a good place, because trust me, it can change at any moment, here are 13 Reasons Being a Teenager’s Mom Rocks.
- You did it – Before the village gets involved with raising your child you can take solace in this miracle you and that special person created together. Every time I look at my son, who amazingly almost stands shoulder to shoulder with me, I am reminded of the first perfect thing his father and I brought into this universe.
- Your purpose is more defined – The more independent your teen becomes, the more he needs you. If a life altering and even fatal mistake will be made it most likely will be between adolescence and early adult hood. When your kids are small you are mostly teaching, guiding and supervising. When they become teenagers you are actually parenting, policing and praying.
- You are forced to face your imperfections – If you do anything, say anything or wear anything wrong, your teen will be the first to point it out to you.
- Hugs and kisses matter – When they’re young, you may be inundated by outward expressions of love. But when those hugs and kisses become fewer and father between they mean a whole lot more.
Source: Black America Web |