Shaunti Feldhahn’s Advice to Wives: Invest in Your Husband by Saying “Thank You”

husband-wife-thankyou

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things that make a big difference in creating great marriages and relationships. Today’s post is one of a series on the surprising truths that men and women tend not to know about each other–and which change everything once we do.

Tip #34: Wives, invest in your husband by saying “thank you.”

Every day, our men wake up and head out to “conquer” the world. Or, rather, the worlds of work, finances, home, school, kids’ activities, sports… We think we understand that, right?

Turns out, we don’t. Not quite. Because in his mind, it isn’t about “juggling” everything. Instead, every one of those spheres have a very, very specific set of expectations of him. Expectations that he is desperately trying to meet. And at a deep level, he doubts that he is adequate to the task.

You see, a man may look confident on the outside, but on the inside, he is constantly asking himself, “Do I measure up?” Do I measure up as a provider and protector? As the husband my wife needs? As a dad? I want to be a great dad… but am I? Every day he is pouring out his effort… and wondering whether the most important person in his life thinks he has hit the mark.

So how can you invest in him in return? How can you show him that he is a great husband or father? Believe it or not, one of the most powerful ways to show your husband how you feel about him, is by looking for daily opportunities to say two little words: “thank you.”

In my research For Women Only and The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, I interviewed and surveyed thousands of men, in part to solve one thorny problem: what is it that you can say to a man that conveys all you feel about him? After all, guys kind of get off easy in the “what to say” department, right? When he says those precious words, “I love you,” we hear ten different things. Not just I feel such affection for you, but sentiments like You’re mine and I would choose you all over again.

The problem is, the men in the research broke the news that, for them, hearing “I love you” is nice but really doesn’t have that same sort of emotional impact. Instead, what deeply touches your husband’s heart is “thank you.” “Thank you for clipping the hedges even though you weren’t feeling well today.” “Thank you for being willing to pick up the kids when I got stuck in a meeting – you’re a wonderful husband.” “Thank you for working so hard to support the family.”

Click here to continue reading.

SOURCE: Christian Post – Shaunti Feldhahn

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