Married but Praying Alone

Married but Praying Alone

As a Christian desiring the best marriage and a close walk with God, you may wonder why you and your spouse don’t have a deeply-connected prayer life together. You say a blessing over the food, and you pray for the missionaries, but you seldom if ever pour out your hearts before God together.

Many counselors suggest that praying together builds intimacy, resolves conflicts, and forges connections. In Scripture, we read pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), they should always pray and not give up (Luke 18:1), and where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them (Matthew 18:20).

With so many reasons to bond strong marriages and with so many reasons to pray, why is it that only 10% of couples claim to experience “spiritual intimacy”?

There may be a valid reason why 90% of even godly couples are not spiritually intimate in prayer together. Since the fall, couples have been hiding, draped in fig leaves, ashamed, fearfully aware of their nakedness before God and each other. Couples in Scripture didn’t pray together. In fact, when couples did find themselves together in the presence of God or holy beings, it didn’t go very well.

Adam hid. At the first chance, he sold out Eve. He was self-conscious. God mercifully intervened.

When God spoke to Abram about Sarah having a baby, Abram couldn’t include her in the conversation because she was laughing too hard. When the three men appeared the next time, Abraham did not invite Sarah to join them in prayer. He invited her to bake up some bread. (The passage suggests that they did finally get together when the Lord reprimanded Sarah for laughing.)

Lot and his wife didn’t do well when angels appeared at their door.

Isaac prayed for his wife, but not with her.

Surely the Psalmist, the man after God’s heart, prayed with one of his wives? Surely, the Proverbs 31 woman prayed with her husband? Silence. No one would question the intimacy of the Song of Solomon lovers, but it doesn’t appear that it was in prayer.

An angel appeared to Sampson’s mother and father separately. Hannah prayed solo. The angel appeared to Mary and Joseph separately. An angel appeared to Zachariah alone, in the temple where Elisabeth could not enter.

Fast forward to the 21st Century, and husbands and wives are expecting that they can recover Eden and come naked and unashamed together before God on a regular basis? Okay, you can try; but you will have to pass up the spirituality of Abraham and Sarah, Mary and Joseph, Zachariah and Elisabeth, Hannah, the man after God’s heart, and the Proverbs 31 woman.

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Source: Crosswalk | Marie Wellmond,

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