Community – A Wiser Way to Handle Dating Relationships

dating in community

Books have been written about it. Podcasts have been dedicated to it. Sermons have been preached on it. It seems evangelicals looking to mingle are obsessed with the topic of “dating” or “courtship” and understandably so. Unless one is called to singleness, most Christians have to wrestle with the topic.

On this particular topic, the Bible is silent. What I mean by this is you won’t find a passage in the Bible that mentions “dating” or “courtship.” This is largely due to the fact that in ancient societies parents arranged virtually all marriages. So how should well-meaning brothers and sisters find a “boo” in a society far removed from those types of cultural practices?

Perform a quick Google search and you’ll soon discover that almost everyone has an opinion on how one should pursue a spouse. Although Scripture is silent on “dating” specifically, it is not silent on relationships and how we should engage our brothers or sisters. I’m no expert on dating and relationships. My résumé isn’t very impressive. But what I’ve learned from years of mistakes and errors is this: Dating decisions made in isolation and haste are dangerous and often unloving to those involved. Anything done in isolation and haste is often reckless, especially when circumstances don’t demand it and wisdom is screaming patience. This led to the majority of my bad relationships in years past.

Community Matters

I can’t help but ask: Why is it that so many Christians are dating without the benefit and gift of community? Perhaps it’s because we are taking plays out of the wrong playbook. Maybe mainstream pop culture is shaping the minds of many professing believers rather than the Gospel.

Proverbs 18:1 says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (ESV). It is selfish to date and keep the relationship just focused on the two of you. When you’re dating in isolation, you make all of your decisions based on what you perceive. However, what you perceive is completely based on what you feel. And that’s the problem. Just because something feels “true” doesn’t mean it is. God has given us Scripture, and if Scripture is silent, He’s given us the church.

Sadly, we have been hoodwinked and bamboozled into thinking that society’s way of relating to the opposite sex is not just the best way, but also the only way. But I want to propose a wiser way to handle dating relationships. I am not only submitting to you that this way is right, but I think it’s safer and more loving toward all of those involved. It protects your heart as well as the heart of the one you’re spending time with. I believe it is the wisest way to go about dating; that is, dating in community. Here are some reasons dating in community is wise.

Click here to read more.

SOURCE: Urban Faith
Philip Holmes

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