UMC Minister Frances Cudjoe Waters says Women Have Got to Stop Being Co-conspirators in Our Own Oppression

Frances Cudjoe Waters
Frances Cudjoe Waters

Years ago I sat on a panel moderated by Pastor Jamal Bryant’s mother, the great Rev. Cecilia Williams-Bryant, at Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Boston. The panel was titled, “Sex: What’s Love Got to Do With It?”

I was only 22 years old but have always remembered a profound statement that the Rev. Williams-Bryant made at one point when she said that we as women have to stop being co-conspirators in our own rape.

I was reminded of that statement (which was made in a completely different context at a completely different time) as I watched the video of women, as well as men, shouting and clapping in affirmation of the now infamous statement, “these hoes ain’t loyal,” in a recent sermon by Pastor Bryant. And I had a very similar thought of my own. Women have got to stop being co-conspirators in our own oppression, whether it comes from the street corner, a rap artist or the pulpit.

Amid the current media uproar about whether Bryant is justified in quoting the misogynistic song sung by the allegedly physically abusive and allegedly relationally disloyal Chris Brown, I can’t help but wonder if the real issue here is not only what Bryant said from the pulpit, but why women, black women in particular, continue to be loyal to and support men who feel comfortable demeaning and demoralizing any women on any level with statements like this.

I wonder if these same people, in the congregation and on the radio and news shows, would have had the same reaction and come to similar conclusions if a white pastor leading a racially mixed church had preached a sermon with a number of good points, but felt the need to punctuate his sermon by quoting a well-known racist singer who said, “You know these n–gers ain’t loyal.”

Would we simply say that the white pastor was just trying to be relevant? Would the response be, “Well, you can’t judge a 20-minute sermon by the fact that he just said, ‘You n–gers ain’t loyal.’ ” “You know how you n–gers are. You are so sensitive.” “You’re just overreacting because everyone knows how emotional n–gers are.” “We white people are thinkers,” or “He wasn’t talking about you black people here in the congregation; you aren’t n–gers. He was talking about those other n–gers.” “You n–gers who are my followers are special and anointed.”

Would that be OK? Probably not.

Yet, although most people in today’s society would condemn racist comments like that, sexist, misogynistic, demeaning ways of referring to women are not only accepted, but fully embraced and repeated by far too many women.

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Source: The Root

Frances Cudjoe Waters is a writer, pastor and blogger. A graduate of Stanford University and Harvard Law School, she preaches and teaches nationally and hosts monthly seminars addressing the real life issues that face her readers and listeners. She currently lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband and three sons and writes a blog at and, which is currently under re-construction.

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