Attention! Sisters, unless you plan on getting busy with your son (in America, that’s called incest) stop treating him like he’s your damn husband or boyfriend. I repeat, stop being a wife to your son, and start being a mother.
In case some of you don’t understand this concept, let me explain further: if your 20- year-old, fully functioning son comes home and expects you to have dinner prepared and his laundry folded, that means you’ve been treating him like your spouse and he’s grown accustomed to it.
That’s a red flag.
Here’s another example: if you’ve had a rough day at work, don’t turn to your son for comfort—that’s not his job. Instead, call that fireman you ran into at the grocery store—he will (at least) pretend to care until you give up the kitty.
Ladies, it’s time for you to cut the cord and to remove your breast from the boy’s mouth (find another man to perform that task). I don’t mean to be harsh, but the older you get, the less appealing you’ll be to the opposite sex. Why are you wasting time clinging to your son, when you’d be much better off making yourselves available to a good man?
This type of behavior is common among black women. Sisters, there are many of you who simply lack faith in committed romantic partnerships. Instead of waiting patiently (or preparing) for the right man to come along, you have decided to take matters into your own hands by creating a suitable mate from scratch—your son. There’s only one problem with this method—it never works! (And it’s just nasty).
If you’re a single mother of a black male, as many black women are, you shoulder the burden of singlehandedly raising a child living in a world designed for him to fail. That’s an incredible undertaking. When he’s born, you vow to be the number one woman in your son’s life. As he grows older, you witness his first steps, hear him speak his first words, teach him how to ride a bike, feed him chicken noodle soup when he gets sick, and you put band-aids on his scrapes and bruises whenever he gets hurt. However, during this 18 year process, many women disregard the importance of self-improvement, personal happiness and, most of all, fulfillment.
Oftentimes, as a single mother, going to the gym takes a backseat to picking up your son from school and making sure his homework gets finished. Spending time with friends becomes seldom because single moms generally devote numerous hours working a job (that isn’t satisfying) so that the bills are paid on time. When potential suitors extend date offers, it’s never an option for a single mom to say yes immediately—there must first be a screening and compatibility test for the little one(s) at home.
Ladies, when your “baby boy” is old enough to leave the nest, it tears you apart inside. Along the way, you sometimes crave a break from motherhood. Still, when he’s ready to leave, your world comes crashing down and your subconscious mind goes plunging into an abyss of despair. That’s because you don’t have a world without your son—you failed to build a life beyond cooking his meals, cheering at his sporting events and washing his dirty laundry. Now that time is over, and you’re left with nothing but memories and uncertainty for the future.
Based in Southern California, EURweb editorial associate Cory A. Haywood is also a certified personal fitness trainer. Contact him via: email@example.com and/or visit his websites: www.coryhaywood.webs.com and corythewriter.blogspot.com