Oh, you don’t know who the secret crush is in your life? Well, maybe that’s because you have become too comfortable with looking forward to seeing the daycare girl, the grocery girl, the after-work girl or even the church girl. Still not following?
Here’s some background …
My buddy told me a story the other day about a married friend of his who had a “daycare girl,” and, yes, it was at the church daycare. Each time this married man would show up to church, he would gladly take the kids over to the daycare.
Why? Because he wanted to see his “hush” crush. In other words, he looked forward to seeing a woman that worked there that hit all the right points in him. Something about her drew him in, in the worst way. I can’t verify if it was her look, her fragrance, her long or short hair, or just her personality. It was something though. That something was slowly destroying his marriage and he couldn’t even see it.
I can’t sit here and type and say that I have never struggled in this area. Early in my marriage and before I truly understood the consequences, I would somehow spot a beautiful woman. If I was at work, I’d get distracted with one woman in particular. If I went out with friends to a restaurant, a particular waitress might catch my eye and, you guessed it, I’d keep going back for looks.
It required no communication between the two of us, the looking and wondering was enough. These innocent occasions became a primary contributor to the decay of my marriage. At the time, “I didn’t know or understand,” was a convenient excuse. But now I know and NOW I take action to protect my marriage. Oh, and by the way, NOW you know TOO! Keep reading…
Who might not understand?
First off, the newlywed man might not get what I’m saying. Why? Because when marriage is new and fresh, his bride is every bit his crush. In most cases, both spouses have attempted to be at the top of their game for each other. And there is very little history to make you want or think you need another woman.
Hear my words newlywed men, do everything you can to protect your marriage right from the start. Understand that looking at other women with lustful eyes will only damage the view you have for your bride. No matter what, do everything you can to make her the only woman gaining your affection. If you find yourself being brought into the beauty of another woman, do what you can to control your emotions, get out of the situation and if needed refer to these 5 tips.
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Bryan Van Slyke