“And I remember thinking to myself. Is this it? Is this what my life is going to be? This awful awful cycle?”
A series of relationships defined who Dede Nesbitt was, a woman desperate to be truly loved by a man. It started when she was a child. Dede thought her dad loved her sister more because of her sister’s musical talent.
“My sister started playing when she was 2 or 3 years old. And everywhere we went, he would ask her to play something. And that’s when it became he likes her a lot more than he likes me.”
Dede was raised in church but threw her morals aside at age 16. She hoped her boyfriend would eventually marry her.Unfortunately all he wanted was sex, and not just with Dede. In fact, he got another girl pregnant.
“I was completely devastated. I was hurt, I had shame, rejection. I didn’t feel like anybody would love me anymore. There was something wrong with me.”
She broke up with him and began a 7-year pattern of dating different men, sleeping with each one, hoping that sex meant love, but each time the relationship ended.
“I was completely done with men. I was sick of being used. I was sick of being hurt. I was sick of putting in my life and energy only to be run over and left.”
Her animosity didn’t last long. Dede was soon with yet another boyfriend and discovered that she was pregnant. She wanted to keep the baby, the boyfriend did not. Willing to do anything to keep him from leaving, she reluctantly agreed to an abortion.
“I believe I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t have an option. From the time I looked up the number in the phone book to for the clinic, to the time I made the phone call, to the procedure being done. To this day I regret it.”
Source: CBN The 700 Club – Dory Nissen
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