When, for Some Reason, Your Small Group Doesn’t Quite Hit It Off

Darryl was excited for his small group to begin until he had the first meeting. Darryl is the leader of a newly formed group that includes a variety of people from new believers to long-time church members. Certain that not everyone would know one another, Darryl planned some fun icebreaker activities to start off the night. It quickly became clear that two members know each other all too well.

As group members walked around asking one another questions to fill out Bingo squares, Jan and Sue stayed as far apart as possible. When the group members made up picnic rhymes to describe themselves, Jan scoffed at Sue’s rhyme. And when it came time to go over the group covenant, Jan voiced her opinion about Sue loud and clear: “If you value confidentiality in this group, Sue is going to have to go! She can’t keep anything a secret.”

The group was immediately silent, and Sue turned the color of a tomato. Darryl tried to move the group forward by commenting that he had every reason to believe Sue was capable of complying with the group covenant. He quickly pushed on to the next point.

After the prayer time that closed the meeting, Sue quietly excused herself and left. The next morning Darryl received an angry e-mail from Sue stating that she would never attend the group again as long as Jan was attending. An hour later, Darryl received an e-mail from Jan stating that she would never attend a group that Sue was part of, and demanded that he kick Sue out of the group.

What should Darryl do? How should he handle this conflict and help the group get back on track at the next meeting?

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Source: SmallGroups.com

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